The Plan

Still in control of my invisible powers that I acquired from the New Orleans Vodooo Queen during the Frutopia/Monkey saga….I have laid out the plan for this weekend’s NASCAR Cup race:

I have already promised Wendy and Nascar granny that Tony Stewart will win the Brickyard 400 Sunday at Indy. Matt Kenseth will lead the most laps, and Tony will pass him near the end of the race. Matt will come in 2nd, but gain extra points for leading the most laps. We have all agreed to this scenario.

I am allowing Tony to win so the media can quit commenting on how badly Stewart wants to win at his home track, yada, yada, yada. Plus, I think Tony really does want to win there and I’d love to see him climb that fence. Plus, Wendy needs to be cheered up!!!

Sorry, Becky Miller, but I don’t want to see Jeff Gordon making out with the bricks again this year! Maybe you can console him after the race instead.

I will also allow Rusty Wallace to come in 3rd for Grumpy . And Mark Martin can come in 4th for….. damn I forget who on here is the Martin fan…sorry, but I remembered him for you!

Here is my plan for getting Kenseth back up in the championship points so he can make the Chase. I did some computin’ and found out I can only get Matt to move up from 17th to 14th in the points, even if he comes in 2nd and leads the most laps. However, for him to move up to 14th will mean the following must happen, which of course, my invisible powers will allow me to accomplish:

Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt Jr. must finish 43rd and 42nd in the race. So, basically last and next to last.

*Ducking as Gordon and Jr. fans throw things at me*

Hahahahaha, I’m invisible, you missed!